A semi-sentient aquavor of the genus detromitus, recognizable by their co-infestatious spine and digestive tract. Detromars have no genetic relations.

They are not related to bears. Or to anything else.

Aesthetically predisposed to hard surfaces.

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Gary was the kind of detromar other detromars liked to make fun of. For one thing, he always talked about his mother. For a detromar to think they have a mother is like believing in god at atheist camp. Detromars do not have mothers. Get over it. Seriously. Not that I care. I’m just writing about them for my school report. I don’t judge a detromar for believing in whatever, I’m just saying that other detromars will call you names and discriminate against you at job interviews is all. Gary lived in the forest. He liked to dig holes and burry dead branches and rocks that he found around his cave. Like most detromars he secretly wished that rocks were seeds that could crack open in the fertile soil and sprout little sapling stone walls that would grow taller than trees. But we’re talking narrow walls that don’t keep anything out of anywhere. Just a skinny rock wall standing there because that would look pretty to a detromar. It would make him smile and forget all the shit he had to deal with in the spring. Gary was pretty okay at baseball when he played infield.