Accident

Party Time

When I press my tooth against the suspension column it turns out to be just the thing. Apply the right kind of pressure to the sinus wall and redirect the neural flow that’s been bringing her face into my mind for weeks. Now I can kick back and relax, enjoy the company of the social paladins who my publicist so craftily lured here, and who seem to be having an okay time. As long as I can maintain this position, speak through the corner of my lips, employ this heightened peripheral vision God gave me, find a compelling and somewhat saucy explanation for my strange behavior, this might just go off without a hitch. Perhaps I will achieve the reputation of an eccentric. His eccentric parties. His wild parties. His wildly eccentric parties… Dennis is giving me that look. There’s a look Dennis has and he is giving it to me right now. As if to say: Are you aware of how the frankly undeserved roll call of your guest list fails to jive with the unusual way in which you are comporting yourself as a host? Do you even know who is here? Yes, Dennis. I approved the list my-self. Stop being such a douche. Firewalker Z, for instance, who examines my crystal for spots and scuffs stuffed Brussels’ Sprouts into the pocket of his loin cloth. Brazenly. Not even trying to be coy about it. Of course all the chicks are swarming around Shadowflower. He’s not even that good looking. Who are all these chicks? Does my publicist just have a Facebook group full of hot girls that he invites to random parties? Shut up, Dennis. You are only here because we’re neighbors and there wouldn’t be any slipping the party past you. Slipping the party past. I like the sound of that. Slipping the party past. Slipping it past. Slipped. Slip. Slip-ping. A word that feels good with one’s tooth pressed up against a suspension column just so, with the pressure applied to the sinus wall, and that cunt’s face out of my mind. What a splendid party. The giant lantern’s mantle aflame with the fires of hell. Actual hell fire. How Stuart got that on a rush I’ll never know.